The Inner Monkey's-Napping Critic

Duration: 30-45 minutes per day for 1 week Materials: notebook, favourite pen

For one week, keep track of:

The Trigger Log

• What sets your inner critic off?
• What time of day does it prefer to strike?
• Are there particular situations that wake it up?
• Does it have favourite topics to bang on about?

For each of the triggers, you should take a deeper look at what’s happening.

The Script Collection

• What exactly does it say?
• What phrases does it use most often?
• What tone does it take? (Disappointed parent? Sarcastic teenager? Gordon Ramsay during Hell's Kitchen?)

The Impact Assessment

• How do these thoughts affect your mood?
• What do they stop you from doing?
• How many Monkey's Credits does each attack cost you?
• What do you do to cope when it starts up?

Duration: 30-90 minutes Materials: notebook, favourite pen, previous exercises

We're going to compile your inner Monkey’s-Napping critic's greatest hits album. Like ‘Now That's What I Call Music’ with all the nostalgic elements, but significantly less fun.

Track 1: The Early Years

• What's the earliest critical thought you can remember?
• Who did it sound like? (A parent? Teacher? That one kid who always had better packed lunches?)
• What was its favourite topic back then?
• Create a list of your top 10.

Track 2: The Greatest Hits

• What thoughts play on repeat?
• Which ones hurt the most?
• Which ones have the most power to stop you in your tracks?
• Create a list of your top 10.

Track 3: The Remixes

• How have these thoughts evolved over time?
• What new material has been added to the playlist?
• Which old tracks have finally been retired?
• Create a list of your top 10.

Track 4: The B-Sides

• What triggers these thoughts?
• What makes them louder?
• What makes them quieter?
• Create a list of your top 10.

We can use this as building blocks when working on other exercises, but it's essential knowledge to become aware of in its own right. Any good monkey cult member knows their inner Monkey’s-Napping critics' hit list.

Duration: 30-45 minutes Materials: Your previous exercise results, notebook, favourite pen

Time to teach that inner Monkey’s-Napping Critic some manners, like training a particularly stubborn British bulldog who thinks your sofa is their personal kingdom.

The Reframing Workshop:

1. Take your top three most common critical thoughts.
2. Now rewrite them as if you were talking to your best mate.
3. Practice these new versions until they become your default.

For example:

• Original: "You're going to mess this up like you mess up everything".
• Reframe: "Right then, let's give this a proper go, worst-case scenario, it's a funny story for the pub".

The Evidence Collection:

1. Every time your critic makes a prediction, write it down.
2. Check back later to see if it actually came true.
3. Keep a tally of how often it's right vs wrong.
4. Use this data to challenge future predictions.

Regularly revisit to reevaluate.

Duration: 45-60 minutes Materials: Your previous exercise results, notebook, favourite pen

Sometimes your inner Monkey’s-Napping critic attacks, swift, aggressive, and completely unwelcome. Here's your emergency response kit:

• Stop and breathe (like you're waiting for the kettle to boil).
• Name the critic (some people call theirs Derek or Susan. makes it harder to take seriously).
• Ask yourself:
  • Is this helpful?
  • Would I say this to a friend?
  • What's the actual evidence?
  • What would Mary Berry say?

• Have a list of quick activities ready to deploy a distraction when needed, such as:
  • Make a proper cup of tea.
  • Do a quick tidying task.
  • Text a mate.
  • Watch one episode of something funny.
  • Reorganise your biscuit tin.

• Will this matter in:
  • 5 minutes?
  • 5 hours?
  • 5 days?
  • 5 weeks?
  • 5 years?

Maintaining Your Defence System

Like any good security system, your defences against your inner Monkey’s-Napping critic need regular maintenance:

Daily Practices:

• Start a "Well Done Me" journal (even if you just wrote "managed to put trousers on the right way round first try").
• Collect evidence that proves your critic wrong- You should have already collected or be in the process of collecting this via the work done or ongoing in exercises 23-25.
• Practice talking to yourself like you're your own best mate - it’s healthy to talk to yourself as long as you don’t start to create more division in your personality or an alter ego materialises. If this happens probably best if you go and talk to another real person.

Weekly Check-ins:

• Review your progress.
• Update your emergency response kit.
• Celebrate small wins.
• Plan for known challenging situations.

Duration: 30-60 minutes Materials: Your previous exercise results, notebook, favourite pen

This is it, the ultimate strategy for handling your inner Monkey’s-Napping critic without letting it nick all your Monkey's Credits.

The Three-Ring Circus Approach:

Ring One: Recognition

• Name your inner Monkey’s-Napping critic (like an actual monkey). You can continue with the same name as in exercise 26 or create a new one. It's up to you.
• Learn its favourite tricks, again, you’ve already done the work, so we just need to crystallise it all here. Look back through the previous exercises to refresh if you're not already sure.
• Spot its typical performance times.

Ring Two: Response

• Don't try to silence it (that's like telling a monkey not to like bananas).
• Instead, acknowledge it: "Yes, I see you up there, throwing doubt-bananas at me".
• Then get on with your day.

Ring Three: Redirection

• Give it something else to focus on.
• Channel its energy into actual problem-solving.
• Turn its criticism into constructive feedback.